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But Is "Baby, It's Cold Outside" Actually About Rape - Or Is It A Feminist Anthem?

Sunday 23 December 2018


Look, when I said festive content, I didn't mean it was going to be gift guides and bullet journal spread ideas. Oh no, what do you take me for? (Also, TW // rape, sexual assault, date rape)



I'm sure by now everyone who's anyone will have heard the meltdowns over Christmas music, and how non-PC it is, and how we just need to cancel any Christmas song written before 2010 because it's offensive, rude and just totally inappropriate. The first thing you definitely need to know about me is that I hate the phrase 'political correctness gone mad'. I really hate it, it gets thrown around way too much, but in some cases, political correctness really has gone mad. Of course, some things I completely agree with - changing the lyrics of "Do They Know It's Christmas?" in the 2014 version was entirely necessary to avoid an onslaught of Western imperialism, something the world does not need any more of - but I don't agree with censoring art that is a product of its time. Yes, Fairytale of New York includes a rather choice word for LGBT+ people - but it's a product of its time. It just means people shouldn't sing the word if they aren't part of that community in my opinion - it's a word that the LGBT+ community has started to reclaim as our own and we should be allowed to use it. If you're not one of us, you don't say it, it's as simple as.

One song however, that's sparked a whole new debate is "Baby It's Cold Outside". 2018 brought along the rise of the #MeToo movement and while the debate over this song has been going on for a good three or four years, it's only really this year that it's been absolutely everyone. It's listed as "everyone's favourite date rape anthem", a classic "Christmas rape song" and has even has a feminist remake by The Holderness Family entitled "Baby Just Go Outside"

The thing is, I like to think I can see things from more than one view and yes, if we bring the song into 2018 and interpret the lyrics in the context of today's culture, where rape is constantly trivialised, where girls are being blamed for their own rapes and their own murders, where date rape is always, always the girl's fault, where we are still 'asking for it' and where men like Brock Turner are only getting 3 months prison sentence for raping an unconscious girl, then it could definitely be seen as an extremely rape-y song. And I think it's because of the modern versions of it after it was basically rediscovered in the mid-1990s and then with Elf in 2003 are the reason it's suddenly been overly sexualised and overly criminalised.

However, the song was not written or recorded for the first time in the mid-1990s or 2003 (and I could entirely see the rage if it was) - it was written in 1944 by Frank Loesser for him and his wife to perform as a duet at parties and it rose to prominence from about 1949 until around the 1960s because of Neptune's Daughter. So here's the thing - if we take the song and it's 'rapey' lyrics back to 1944...it perhaps isn't so rapey anymore. Suddenly, it becomes an anthem for sexually liberated women, it becomes the story of a woman who is doing battle with the society she lives in - a society that won't let her say yes to having sex or staying overnight at a man's house unmarried. If he went to hers and sneaked back home late at night, it would most likely go unnoticed, but here she's singing about at least three people who will notice her absence. She plies herself with alcohol and cigarettes, saying 'maybe just a half a drink more' at the same time as saying 'I ought to say no, no, no, no' so she can at least say she tried...and there is nothing in her drink. Her drink is simply the shield with which she can defend herself against the societal expectations of being a woman and a 'good girl', when actually, she kind of just wants to have a lot of sex with her partner, who is being an angel and giving her excuse upon excuse for her to tell her parents, intertwining it with compliments because he evidently just likes her a lot.

And the ending - she sings with him that it's cold outside. In just two minutes and forty four seconds she finally lets go of society's expectations and the family looming in the background and lets herself succumb to her own inner she-wolf - the male character in our story is not the predator, but she is. She is the predator and she is her own prey and she lets herself agree that it's far too cold for her to leave at this time of night. The song ends on a positive note and a positive message that's extremely empowering for the average mid-1940s woman.

But hey. I do of course agree that in 2018, in our day and age, it's definitely up to women to decide whether this song is okay or not and the lyrics can be interpreted any way you want. But in my opinion, the song actually has a lot to teach us about the way society viewed women's sexuality, rather than the fact a woman is being forced to stay and have sex with a man. If we're going to be angry, why aren't we angry about what the song is actually about - double standards regarding sexuality of men and women and they ways they were, and still are to an extent, able to express that? And also - roofies didn't even exist back then, and not in a 'rape was normal back then' way, but they just didn't exist. The song was never about that in the first place, and just because we live in 2018 doesn't mean we have to read everything with modern, rose tinted spectacles covering what a text is actually about.

I think we'll be fighting over this song for a long, long time, but I for one will keep listening because a) I enjoy the song musically b) it actually feels kind of empowering me and c) I just don't think it's that deep. But like I said before, I really do think it's up to your own interpretation, and I'd really love to hear any other opinions in the comments below!!

What are your thoughts on 'Baby, It's Cold Outside'?

Em xx

December Bullet Journal

Thursday 6 December 2018


This month's bullet journal...is a mixed bag. I'm not quite as keen on it as I was on November's but hey ho, I tried my best and thought it only fair to give you a sneak peek like I always do anyway!!


Again I used AmandaRachLee's December bullet journal video for inspiration, I really loved the hanging bauble idea she had for the title page so I did the same - I actually cut mine from white paper first though since I find Crayola Supertips bleed though Leuchtturm paper reeeeally easily and makes it so hard to do anything on the next page. I also used silver accents instead of gold but the effect still works well in my opinion.



I kept my calendar layout really simple this year, very different to last year's extremely busy and all over the place layout! December this year also spans six weeks rather than five like most months, so that also limited my space. I didn't put in my monthly goals section like normal since I just don't use it, but I used the space to do another little ornament doodle, write December in some fancy lettering and then did a big ol' "tis the season' at the bottom. My growth tracker is still there as I really want to upload more this month so tracking my progress is very helpful.


The next two spreads are very normal for me, my habit tracker which I STILL am terrible at filling in!! And then my video and blogpost ideas lists. The weird little squiggle on the habit tracker page is supposed to be fairy lights but they didn't turn out quite that way. It looks kinda cute if you don't look for too long I suppose!! I wanted to have a bit of winter in this month's spreads too so added some snowflake doodles and used more of a wintery colour. Also, here's a sneaky peek into some of the content I've got planned this month!


And then onto my very plain, very ordinary weekly spread. As I said in my last post, this layout doesn't really change and I really do love it like this - it just lets me see everything really well and it just works the best for me and my needs every week. The meal plan helps me eat properly and then if I have a weekly events list on the side I can just glance at that for what's on each day, and then that saves so much more space in the daily parts for to-do lists - as you can see, I'm a bit chocka at the moment with assignment prep and a chalkboard commission I'm doing so it really is working perfectly for me at the moment.

Aaaaand that's the end of my December bullet journal!! I know it's not as exciting as other months but it's perfect and simple enough for me, and as always here's the list of the products I used to create this spread:

- Faber Castell Ecco Pigment 0.3mm fineliner
- Crayola Supertips 
- Pentel Fude Touch sign pen
- Faber Castell silver PITT artist pen
- Leuchtturm 1917 dotted a5 journal


What do your December bullet journals look like?

Em xx
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