Uni life is great, I tell you that. Today I've done nothing but run a 5K with my sister this morning, subsequently eat my weight in food because I slept through my alarms and had no time to eat before the run...and that's it. Bored as hell, I decided to catch up on my YouTube watching and came across a new Klaire de Lys video on a simple elegant skull Halloween tutorial.
I LOVE this type of art style, the delicate shapes and patterns all working together to create one piece. You can't have one element of it without another. There's so much creativity involved in it too, so many different ways you can twist the patterns and make them your own. So, given that I haven't painted anything in an extremely long time, I decided to give this a try. It's simple and easy and so so quick to do - considering most of my paints take me a solid 2 hours and mostly more (that pink zombie thing I did was a solid 7 1/2 hours of work), to be able to sit down and create something in half an hour is quite nice.
It got me thinking about inspiration though and if this is the reason I haven't painted anything in so long. I mean, I know the practical reason is because I left all my paintbrushes at home when they should have come to Manchester with me and I only got them a week ago when my dad came up. But even before I moved out, it's still been ages since I did anything properly arty and I just can't figure out why.
I sometimes get stuck in ruts when I can't think of any ideas for anything at all, whether it's art or writing or anything, I just can't hack it, and then I get stuck in ruts when I just can't be bothered. You'd think if you loved something that much you'd always be bothered to do it but honestly, sometimes I can't. My mind goes crazy at itself because one half of it is bursting with inspiration and ideas and the other half just doesn't want to do anything with those ideas.
What always helps me in either of those ruts, though, is turning to my favourite artists for inspiration. Something that's quick and easy and something I know I can handle and something I know I can do. This sort of thing is still a challenge because of the artistic technique behind it, but it's a challenge I can easily take on. To tell you the truth, I think the last time I attempted to paint something (other than my Pride themed makeup) was when I tried once again to recreate my cracked skull makeup I did two years ago based on the Elsa Rhae video that first got me into body painting. And, even though it was another year after I'd done it again, I had another year of experience under my belt, it just was like I'd never picked up a paintbrush before. And when I know I can do something better than what I've done (if that makes sense) it frustrates me and it knocks my confidence and it doesn't just knock it - it batters it to a pulp and suddenly I am the most uninspired I've ever been. Its the same thing that happened with my trumpet playing - I was good, I was ready to take my Grade 8, I was getting better and better, and then I got braces and it was like taking a hundred painful steps back to stage 1, and now nearly two and a half years later I haven't picked it up in a long time and I've lost the love I once had for playing music.
And God, I did not want that to happen with painting but once my confidence takes a knock it takes me so long to want to do whatever it is again. Like I said before - I'm inspired but I can't be bothered because I hate failure. I hate failing at something I used to be good at.
So anyway, that's enough rambling, back to the point - I created something today and yes, while it was completely inspired by another artist and it was basically someone else's idea, that's okay and it's restored some of my confidence in myself and I'm happy and proud of what I've done today. It's not perfect but I'm not perfect and to be honest, my style isn't perfect and it never will be. I like a slightly more rough-around-the-edges style when it comes to body art. And can we just talk about my actual eye makeup please for a second, thank you Morphe 35O, thanking you kindly.
Will be back soon my friends. Lots of love to you all. The support means the world.
Em xx
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