So Why DO You Wear So Much Makeup?

I'm one of those people that's never really had a thing. I'm not especially, stand-out good at anything, I don't really have any talents as such and growing up I seriously felt that. I play the comparison game way too much as it is, and when I was younger it was even worse. I played the trumpet but there was someone better than me and I wasn't really that good. I was awful at sports, I couldn't understand music or sing, in art class I was consistently one of the worst and academically I was only ever mediocre and average in my classes. I wasn't particularly pretty or outgoing or confident either, I didn't have loads of friends and I wasn't part of the popular group who were friends with the boys from the school over the road. Nothing I did ever really stood out or got any attention - basically, I've been a bit average my whole life and I've always felt that. I think some of it is due to seven years at grammar schools which put a massive amount of academic pressure on you, and I'm also convinced part of it comes from being a middle child - middle child syndrome is real, don't fight me. 

Things changed a lot when I left my first secondary school and started somewhere fresh for sixth form. I'd started my blog at this point and I'd begun to feel I was quite good at writing and being a helping hand for people who needed it. But the other thing that I'd fallen in love with at that point was makeup. I started wearing makeup when I was around fourteen - at my first school we weren't allowed to wear it until Year 10 so I didn't really know much about makeup until then. But I loved watching YouTube videos and reading beauty blogs and that's where my appreciation for makeup started. I discovered facepainting and SFX when I was about sixteen and that's when I felt that makeup was really becoming my thing. I went from strength to strength when I learned how to do winged eyeliner in December 2015 (genuinely it changed my life) and this is I guess where I really fell in love with the art of makeup.

I started my Instagram account and people actually seemed to like my SFX stuff and my bodypainting, and even crappy close up pictures of my eye makeup of the day and I genuinely remember feeling so excited because I thought I'd finally found my thing. And turns out I had - I started getting more followers and my friends at school used to wait to see what makeup I'd wear that day, which glitter I'd use or if I did blue eyeliner. I remember one teacher telling me that my blue eyeliner was 'perhaps a little too bright for school' and I nearly gaped, astonished at her audacity. As I said earlier, I've never been a particularly outgoing person in terms of my demeanour or the clothes I wear and at that point makeup became the way I expressed myself - I wore glittery eyeshadow and blue eyeliner because I loved it, I loved the process of doing my makeup in the morning, half an hour of complete solidarity all to myself. I looked forward to doing it each morning and taking a picture and posting it on Instagram. I think the point where I really went makeup is MY thing was when I got voted 'best eyebrows' and 'best makeup' in my Year 13 yearbook polls last year!! The euphoria was real, kids.

University only developed my love - while I stopped bodypainting because I didn't want to be 'weird' I discovered that Manchester is much more open to crazy colourful eyeshadow and cool eyeliner than my little southern town is, and now that's my norm, it's actually rare to see me in neutral colours and no winged eyeliner now! And honestly, the online beauty community has just been wonderful - the inspiration and support I get online is madness and I feel like I'm in such a good place with my skills right now. I still have so much to learn but I'm getting better and learning more with each look I do and each look that gets more and more support just gives me even more confidence in myself and my skills and my 'thing' and the fact I have a thing - and it feels bloody brilliant.

Oh - and just to keep me humble and to remind everyone that practise is EVERYTHING (and having way too much time on my hands) here's a five year throwback.

Em xx