Ahhh it's here!! My blockbuster bullet journal 2019 setup. I had so much fun doing this, so I'm just going to hop straight in or I'll ramble forever and heck do we have a LOT to get through. I decided not to get an entire new bullet journal this year because I'm hoping this will take me to the end of this academic year and then I can start a new one next academic year as yes, I still have ONE of them left!!!! Who knows what we'll do after that though. (read: I'm not thinking about it)

I hugely used AmandaRachLee's video for this setup- we all know how much I love this girl, her style is just up my street and I will forever credit her with the reason why I got into bullet journalling, calligraphy and how I discovered an artistic side of myself I'd never seen before. So my 2019 title page is just very simple, hello 2019 in calligraphy and some big block capital letters. While Amanda's is all in black and white, I decided to put some colourful accents into mine in my favourite colours. I did a year at a glance between this and the next spreads but decided not to photography it because it's just not that interesting...

So the next two spreads are taken up by my future log. The point of the future log is to have the entire year written out in front of you, meaning you can pop in important dates each month and when it comes to your monthly logs you can refer back to this and see what you've got going on this month. I split my pages into three like Amanda did, did my titles in solid calligraphy and then a little calendar so I can colour in the dates of important things and write them down next to it.

These next two spreads look really cute in my opinion!! This is where I deviated from Amanda's video since I didn't want all the pages she had, so I've done a goals page like she did, but made it much smaller as I have quite a few less goals! I still liked the idea of splitting them up into categories, for me it makes them less overwhelming. If you want to read about my 2019 goals pop over to my last post!! The next is just my memories, so every time something good happens I'll write it down here and hopefully will have a full page by the end of the year!!

This spread is my ideas pages - YouTube and blogging is going to take off this year, I'm going to make absolutely sure of it, but I wanted to start brainstorming early. So every time I have an idea for a post, I'll write it down here and when it comes to my smaller monthly lists I'll refer back to this and see what I can still do.

And then we come onto my January spread!!! I used the same theme of snowflakes that I did for my December 2017 spread, but jut a bit simpler and toned down this time.

My calendar layout is pretty much exactly the same as always - I love this spread and this is where I pop all my things for this month in, and then when it comes to doing my weeklies I'll refer back to this. This is why the system woRKS, kids. As you can see, popped in a few cute snowflakes here and there and we're good to move on.

Again, habit tracker and ideas spreads exactly the same as always, I feel like these work so well for me at this point there's no point changing it if it's working? I put in this quote too to fill up some empty space which I really love.

And then my same as always boring weekly. I just love this layout, it just works for everything I need and while I've tried so so many weekly layouts I always find myself coming back to this one as it just has everything I need. I do also have my expense tracker on the next page but I'm thinking of doing an entire other post about how I track my finances etc etc so look out for that if it's something you're interested in.

And that's it for my bullet journal this year and for January. I love it so much and I think in the last part of 2018 I really cracked the system and how to use it properly so I think 2019 is going to be a much more organised year for me. Plus, when I have really good, pretty spreads I always find it motivates me to actually use it more!! 

Bullet Journal Products:

 - Leuchtturm 1917 dotted a5 journal

- Tombow dual brush pens (772, 837 for the pinks and 553 for the blue/lilac)

- Pentel Fude Touch sign pen (best. calligraphy. pen. ever.)

- Pigma Micron 0.3mm fineliner

- Pilot G2 07 gel pen (yes, I have moved on from my beloved 05)

What do your bullet journals look like this year?

Em xx

2018 | Thank You, Next

I'm going to be completely honest, 2018 has been a massive bitch for me. Don't get me wrong, it's taken a serious turn for the better September onwards, but the previous eight months?? Honestly, I'd just like to forget they happened.

I think this year has brought about the most personal growth for me. It's gonna sound really really cheesy and cliche but I'm one step closer to finding myself. I'm the sort of person who's never really had an identity as such, I've never been that girl who does this or anything like that but I think this year has led to finding that identity a bit more. Life has strengthened me by throwing me a somewhat toxic relationship and subsequent heartbreak, making me realise that love is not something you can force and a relationship is not something to waste time searching for and trying to make it happen. I've learned how to speak back to people and not let them walk all over me, something that was seriously holding me back. Not that I've turned into a massive bitch or anything (I hope) but I've just learned not to take any shite from anyone. Life's too short for that.

I don't think I'll be setting any concrete New Year resolutions or goals as such this year. Instead, I'm giving myself a motto rather than a resolution and that's simply just to try harder and I'm going to try and apply that to every aspect of my life - my friendships, my blog, my relationship, social media, YouTube, organisation, mental and physical wellbeing - literally everything. I'm the sort of person who doesn't do well with actual goal setting, I tend to pile too much onto myself and then feel bad if I can't do it all. That being said though, I have a few things I want to try and do this year that aren't exactly goals, but things I'm going to challenge myself to just to keep me going, for example I want to educate myself more. 

There are so many fields I'm interested in outside my own, like economics, feminism, politics, psychology etc etc so I think some nonfiction reading is definitely on the cards and with that, I want to write more life-y content on my blog. I was talking to my girl Fran the other day and we've both decided we want to talk more about these things, our opinions, our politics, feminism, change up that content to be a bit more real. Of course, I love my fashion and beauty posts and they won't be going anywhere, but I also want to talk about Brexit and women and intersectionality and all the good social awareness/world affairs stuff because it's all things I love and I'm interested in. 

Also on the blog front, it sort of ties into trying harder but I'm hoping that with the trying harder I'll be able to reach 2000 Instagram followers and 1000 YouTube subscribers. I'm also hoping to go self-hosted this year so hopefully will be able to score myself a few more collaborations. As you can see I've already (kind of) got into the shooting thing again with Ellie, but can we NOT talk about the fact that my face is pretty much reflective in some of these photos??? I know I'm pale, but why am I so shiny?!?!

So there you have it - goodbye 2018, one of the less great years, and hello 2019, who has a very low standard to meet. It's not going to be hard to make this a better one - so bring it the f*ck on.

What are you going to try and achieve this year?

Em xx

But Is "Baby, It's Cold Outside" Actually About Rape - Or Is It A Feminist Anthem?

Look, when I said festive content, I didn't mean it was going to be gift guides and bullet journal spread ideas. Oh no, what do you take me for? (Also, TW // rape, sexual assault, date rape)

I'm sure by now everyone who's anyone will have heard the meltdowns over Christmas music, and how non-PC it is, and how we just need to cancel any Christmas song written before 2010 because it's offensive, rude and just totally inappropriate. The first thing you definitely need to know about me is that I hate the phrase 'political correctness gone mad'. I really hate it, it gets thrown around way too much, but in some cases, political correctness really has gone mad. Of course, some things I completely agree with - changing the lyrics of "Do They Know It's Christmas?" in the 2014 version was entirely necessary to avoid an onslaught of Western imperialism, something the world does not need any more of - but I don't agree with censoring art that is a product of its time. Yes, Fairytale of New York includes a rather choice word for LGBT+ people - but it's a product of its time. It just means people shouldn't sing the word if they aren't part of that community in my opinion - it's a word that the LGBT+ community has started to reclaim as our own and we should be allowed to use it. If you're not one of us, you don't say it, it's as simple as.

One song however, that's sparked a whole new debate is "Baby It's Cold Outside". 2018 brought along the rise of the #MeToo movement and while the debate over this song has been going on for a good three or four years, it's only really this year that it's been absolutely everyone. It's listed as "everyone's favourite date rape anthem", a classic "Christmas rape song" and has even has a feminist remake by The Holderness Family entitled "Baby Just Go Outside". 

The thing is, I like to think I can see things from more than one view and yes, if we bring the song into 2018 and interpret the lyrics in the context of today's culture, where rape is constantly trivialised, where girls are being blamed for their own rapes and their own murders, where date rape is always, always the girl's fault, where we are still 'asking for it' and where men like Brock Turner are only getting 3 months prison sentence for raping an unconscious girl, then it could definitely be seen as an extremely rape-y song. And I think it's because of the modern versions of it after it was basically rediscovered in the mid-1990s and then with Elf in 2003 are the reason it's suddenly been overly sexualised and overly criminalised.

However, the song was not written or recorded for the first time in the mid-1990s or 2003 (and I could entirely see the rage if it was) - it was written in 1944 by Frank Loesser for him and his wife to perform as a duet at parties and it rose to prominence from about 1949 until around the 1960s because of Neptune's Daughter. So here's the thing - if we take the song and it's 'rapey' lyrics back to 1944...it perhaps isn't so rapey anymore. Suddenly, it becomes an anthem for sexually liberated women, it becomes the story of a woman who is doing battle with the society she lives in - a society that won't let her say yes to having sex or staying overnight at a man's house unmarried. If he went to hers and sneaked back home late at night, it would most likely go unnoticed, but here she's singing about at least three people who will notice her absence. She plies herself with alcohol and cigarettes, saying 'maybe just a half a drink more' at the same time as saying 'I ought to say no, no, no, no' so she can at least say she tried...and there is nothing in her drink. Her drink is simply the shield with which she can defend herself against the societal expectations of being a woman and a 'good girl', when actually, she kind of just wants to have a lot of sex with her partner, who is being an angel and giving her excuse upon excuse for her to tell her parents, intertwining it with compliments because he evidently just likes her a lot.

And the ending - she sings with him that it's cold outside. In just two minutes and forty four seconds she finally lets go of society's expectations and the family looming in the background and lets herself succumb to her own inner she-wolf - the male character in our story is not the predator, but she is. She is the predator and she is her own prey and she lets herself agree that it's far too cold for her to leave at this time of night. The song ends on a positive note and a positive message that's extremely empowering for the average mid-1940s woman.

But hey. I do of course agree that in 2018, in our day and age, it's definitely up to women to decide whether this song is okay or not and the lyrics can be interpreted any way you want. But in my opinion, the song actually has a lot to teach us about the way society viewed women's sexuality, rather than the fact a woman is being forced to stay and have sex with a man. If we're going to be angry, why aren't we angry about what the song is actually about - double standards regarding sexuality of men and women and they ways they were, and still are to an extent, able to express that? And also - roofies didn't even exist back then, and not in a 'rape was normal back then' way, but they just didn't exist. The song was never about that in the first place, and just because we live in 2018 doesn't mean we have to read everything with modern, rose tinted spectacles covering what a text is actually about.

I think we'll be fighting over this song for a long, long time, but I for one will keep listening because a) I enjoy the song musically b) it actually feels kind of empowering me and c) I just don't think it's that deep. But like I said before, I really do think it's up to your own interpretation, and I'd really love to hear any other opinions in the comments below!!

What are your thoughts on 'Baby, It's Cold Outside'?

Em xx

December Bullet Journal

This month's bullet journal...is a mixed bag. I'm not quite as keen on it as I was on November's but hey ho, I tried my best and thought it only fair to give you a sneak peek like I always do anyway!!

Again I used AmandaRachLee's December bullet journal video for inspiration, I really loved the hanging bauble idea she had for the title page so I did the same - I actually cut mine from white paper first though since I find Crayola Supertips bleed though Leuchtturm paper reeeeally easily and makes it so hard to do anything on the next page. I also used silver accents instead of gold but the effect still works well in my opinion.

I kept my calendar layout really simple this year, very different to last year's extremely busy and all over the place layout! December this year also spans six weeks rather than five like most months, so that also limited my space. I didn't put in my monthly goals section like normal since I just don't use it, but I used the space to do another little ornament doodle, write December in some fancy lettering and then did a big ol' "tis the season' at the bottom. My growth tracker is still there as I really want to upload more this month so tracking my progress is very helpful.

The next two spreads are very normal for me, my habit tracker which I STILL am terrible at filling in!! And then my video and blogpost ideas lists. The weird little squiggle on the habit tracker page is supposed to be fairy lights but they didn't turn out quite that way. It looks kinda cute if you don't look for too long I suppose!! I wanted to have a bit of winter in this month's spreads too so added some snowflake doodles and used more of a wintery colour. Also, here's a sneaky peek into some of the content I've got planned this month!

And then onto my very plain, very ordinary weekly spread. As I said in my last post, this layout doesn't really change and I really do love it like this - it just lets me see everything really well and it just works the best for me and my needs every week. The meal plan helps me eat properly and then if I have a weekly events list on the side I can just glance at that for what's on each day, and then that saves so much more space in the daily parts for to-do lists - as you can see, I'm a bit chocka at the moment with assignment prep and a chalkboard commission I'm doing so it really is working perfectly for me at the moment.

Aaaaand that's the end of my December bullet journal!! I know it's not as exciting as other months but it's perfect and simple enough for me, and as always here's the list of the products I used to create this spread:

- Faber Castell Ecco Pigment 0.3mm fineliner

- Crayola Supertips 

- Pentel Fude Touch sign pen

- Faber Castell silver PITT artist pen

- Leuchtturm 1917 dotted a5 journal

What do your December bullet journals look like?

Em xx

Life In October & Not Really November Goals

Greetings pals and happy November!! I kind of can't believe how quick October went, I seemed to blink and it was over!!

Uni got into serious full swing over October - if you've seen my November bullet journal post you'll have seen how long my to-do list is for reading week, and honestly aside from that I can't really think of what life in October was like? I can honestly say though that I finally feel like I've reached a level of contentment this month and that's possibly due to the fact that ya gal is officially no longer single as of the 16th October! Yes, me and my T-dog made things official and I'm just very happy and very comfortable - nothing has ever felt more right to me and yeah, that side of life is pretty sick right now (and yes, I did use the word 'sick' completely un-ironically). I'm just feeling a lot like myself again and it feels good. (And no bike accidents this month either!!). Rhiannon and I also went to the Jeffree Star x BeautyBay Can't Relate Tour which was such a cool event and some clips will be in my October vlog up soon on my YouTube!

Other than that, October didn't really bring that much, apart from new season Riverdale (I'm honestly really enjoying it - I know a lot of people aren't happy with the supernatural turn it's taken but I'm quite into it!) and The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina which again, I'm loving - I didn't ever watch Sabrina The Teenage Witch and I'm really liking it! I also started reading more again, this month's book being Fault Line by Robert Goddard - I'm not so into crime novels but I've accidentally got myself writing a murder mystery for my script class so I figured I should probably try and get the gist of how to actually write a thriller! I also tried my hand at pumpkin carving for the first time ever (yeah, I'm not even kidding - I've never carved a pumpkin before!) with my housemate and best friend Rhiannon and her boyfriend and...needless to say my attempts at carving Waluigi into a pumpkin did not work. Rhiannon's Isabelle was insane though.

I'm not sure what November will bring - I'm not the best at setting monthly goals because honestly, I never keep to them, which is why you'll notice I've slightly edited the 'November goals' bit of the title. I think this month I'm just going to try harder. Try harder to keep on top of stuff, use the extra time I have for my blog and YouTube, and just try a little harder with the things I used to love. I'm terrible at keeping to personal goals so stripping it right down to basics might help? Like I said, I'm feeling more myself than I've felt in so long at the moment so I'm guessing it might make it a bit easier to write and create things. Possibly. We'll see. (that being said, thought I should say thank you for sticking by me through all my messiness - it truly means the world)

What did your October look like?

Em xx